Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i came on her dog
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He did a backflip because drugs
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
