i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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