I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
