If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
