brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
