so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
