RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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