saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
