I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
