it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
