i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
