I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The power of my boobs compel you
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
