Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
