I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
