so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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