life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
