I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
that may or may not have been my penis.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
