In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
