Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I wear drunk well.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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