So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think your dad took our porno
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
