Little spoons don't ask big questions
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
