dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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