I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
