I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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