I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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