Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
