1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
