I'm drive I can fine osifer
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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