we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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