Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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