Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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