That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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