Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
