I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
