She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
