No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
