I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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