that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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