At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
