That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
