i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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