420 ftw
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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