When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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