Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
