Don't make out with my wife yet
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
