I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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