i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
