How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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