I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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