It's like God shit irony all over that family
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
