I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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