Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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