then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
