Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Farmville is her only friend.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
