last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
