This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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