At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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